September 3rd was the annual Sun/Chiron opposition, a day where our old wounds gnaw at us and ache for healing in a way that crosses time and dimension. While I believe that Chiron is so much more than the wounded archetype, physical disability and pain is nevertheless one way Chiron manifests. For instance, on the Sun/Chiron opposition, I disproportionately saw people in wheelchairs everywhere I went. I even watched the French film, The Intouchables, a buddy movie about a quadriplegic and his unlikely caretaker, without consciously realizing that I was doing so on the day of the opposition. (It was astrologer Kim Rogers-Gallagher who pointed out that the universal handicap symbol is evocative to the Chiron symbol.)
The opposition has made me aware of my own Chironic wounds in the form of some pretty intense lower back, sacral pain — the kind that leaves me hunched over and hobbled at times. The pain has even eclipsed the pain in my left arm, which is no small feat. As I write this, the pain has been off and on for the last two weeks and I am, understandably, rather sick of it.
During a psychotherapy appointment scheduled on the Sun/Chiron opposition, I commented on my back pain. It was hard not to mention it as I sat down, wincing as I sank low into his leather couch. Outside, the sound of jackhammers matched my mood. (Thanks, New York City!)
My therapist suggested some breath work and guided meditation to uncover the root of my sacral pain — a suggestion that made me feel a little awkward and vulnerable because that’s just how I am — but you’ll try anything when you’re in pain.
Although the sound of jackhammers was an unlikely soundtrack for my breath work, once I dropped into my lower chakras I realized that the jackhammers were an indication of the level of root excavation I was doing. Painful yet necessary.
While my therapist guided me one way, my intuitive faculties switched on as I grew relaxed. First, I felt an intense anger surging through my root chakra when I brought my presence into my sacrum. Then images. A flat stone wall that I felt pressed close against. I felt like I wanted to jackhammer through it.
Then I was aware of an ancient warrior in spirit form. It was his anger, or rather his rage, at having been crippled in battle by a blow to the lower spine — the same spot as my own pain. The wound, which did not kill him, caused him immeasurable physical pain and the shame of not being able to defend himself anymore. As the story unfolded in my mind I realized that my own accident in June to my left arm — my shield arm — had stirred up a lot of old trauma. He needed healing as much as I did.
I also became aware of a female spirit, although she hung back, her presence overwhelmed by the force that the warrior carried himself in both his pain and strength. She was also wounded, but hers was spiritual in nature. I got the image of a Celtic woman who carried a deep sorrow at having been cut off from her healing abilities and thus believed that the gods had abandoned her. As if to convey this idea, I saw roots that were unable to connect with the earth. But despite this perceived disconnection, she was deeply surrounded by the energy of the elemental kingdom — nature energy.
It was clear that the woman had the medicine that the warrior needed and that by healing each other, I was healed.
Deeper into my mediation, I saw the image of an arrow or spear head etherically lodged in my near my sacrum. The warrior’s wound was my wound and so I asked my helper spirits to pull it out. The instant I thought to ask, a shudder of energy went through my body as the spear head was removed.
The jackhammers had stopped.
Chiron in Pisces is about these wounds that cross all time and dimensions, taking us to the root of our spiritual pain, even if its in another lifetime. As we experience annual transits to Chiron like the Sun’s square or opposition, or even transits to natal Chiron, we have opportunities to tap into a powerful source of healing.
While my back isn’t miraculously cured, there’s definitely been an energy shift as if something previously closed has been opened for clearing. Every time I connect to this level of energy through the akash, another layer gets pulled back and I am forever transformed.